Um. When you're like this, it overwhelms like everyone. Because I don't want to be "too much" for the guy I like I try to text as little as possible and think that if the guy wants to talk he will text me, I try not to get to attached to someone since I'm scared that they will reject me if they get to know "the real me" and the bad sides of my diagnos (like days when I have a hard time being social because it just takes to much energy or the days every little must do feels like climbing a mountain, the days I just need a meltdown and I have no idea why), I don't trust my emotions since they can be different from day to day. As for her RSD and low self esteem, may I suggest that she try Metta meditation? If you verbally list off something for her to do, she just won't get it right and panics herself. From the intrusive thoughts and constant voice I hear of myself yelling at myself. All at once. People. So I wouldn't shower for daaaaays (weeks?) Yeah. I have even admitted to her, that i could feel that she saw me as a "boring" person already after the 3rd or 4th time we saw each other. And she can have the most boring conversations with people and glean something from it. So it's best to be with someone who doesn't have any mental issues when you do. It’s exhausting and often the ADHDer is struggling to get through the next task. I know it's not that simple, but you once you respect your own feelings you should expect other people to as well. She lets people take advantage of her kindness. A razor blade sliding down her heart has been one she's had her whole life. Because I'm writing this with my girlfriend in mind, she didn't already know this. If you know she is officially diagnosed, maybe you could assign her behavior to the condition, but maybe you should just move on. If she's driving in the car, you need to be quiet. This is an executive functioning problem. I know everyone experiences the call of the void and that's normal. Adventure and (somewhat) controlled chaos are my constant companions. Your ADHD loved one will respond lovingly to your kindness. Relationships are work. As a side note:(it might just be me) I found it a little condescending when you gave advice on the importance of confidence and the validity of our feelings. Rip me. Dating when you have ADHD is more complicated than most people think. But alas, she would after a month, say that it should not be me and her, because we a month earlier talked about the realtionship in general and her feelings about it. OMG! That girl is definitely a lucky woman. I'm not saying it's a specific ADHD thing. It can be the simplest things, if she's overwhelmed, she avoids it. She gets extremely overwhelmed by her senses. Don't be easily offended, she needs stimulation. And yeah, i'm really trying to be realistic and be logical about it. If you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), it can cause problems with intimacy and lead to some communication problems. Intrusive thoughts are annoying, if you see me walking alone you might spot me mutter under my breath something like "shut the f*** up, I'll kill you" (to my brain), I've found excessively violent phrases like that properly cut my train of thought and reset things (because how would something like that not grab all of your attention). This is especially true if the symptoms of ADHD have never been properly diagnosed or treated. I've read up, checked forums, etc. For example, sometimes, for 1-2 week spans, I will get calls or texts all day, everyday. This will probably be replaced by something else in a day or 2. Over a million users here say they 'feel at home' and 'finally found a place where people understand them'. Slow the fuck down.". Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, http://the-love-compass.com/2014/03/01/understanding-the-needs-of-the-avoidantdismissive-attachment-style/. I don't know at what point you call something a tic disorder? How/where do I find such intelligent, kind people? I often hear people with ADHD saying they have trouble listening, but she loves listening! ADHD (or any other cognitive/mental illness) isn't an excuse for shitty behaviour. Tell her to talk about her feelings and insecurities, if that is the reason she is behaving like this. When I don't know a guy enough to have feelings for him I act like any girl, but as soon as I really start to like someone I get very insecure of myself. Reply. I was working a full time job, going to school full time and running a house, alone. As another have written. This baffles the people in her life. I have that same issue with water, especially when doing dishes. 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